Monthly Archives: November 2014

A few weeks ago a friend of mine asked me if I ever felt afraid. She was referring the the Mrs. International pageant I’ll be competing in this July, but so many other endeavors I have been called to came to mind.

For example, every time I am asked to speak I am afraid. Every time I tell someone my story, whether it be on stage or over a cup of coffee, I am afraid. Every time I make a phone call to tell someone that I am Mrs. California, and I want to help, be apart of, or donate my time to them, I am afraid. Every morning when I wake up, I am afraid of not being able to do the things I have been set out to do. Thankfully every night before I fall sleep I thank God for giving me the courage and strength to accomplish whatever it was that I was afraid of.

My answer to my sweet friend was simply “Yes”. But don’t let me fool you into thinking that I am some super strong gal that just loves to eat fear for breakfast, because I’m not! I know what it feels like to become a victim of fear and all of it’s lies. In the past my fears have kept me from living a life I knew I wanted, but was too scared to live. Fear told me I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or cut out for the job. Luckily, God was relentless and continued to put people in my life that told me that I was more than enough. That in fact I was perfect just the way I am, and to believe in myself regardless of what my fear was telling me. Now, every day instead of letting fears hold me back, I enjoy grace which has given me freedom. Freedom to go for it whole heartily, to make mistakes, to live.

I also enjoy baking! Fear used to tell me that I was bad at baking, that I should leave it to someone with a better oven, and a lot more experience. After making two batches of these awesome (and easy) muffins, and watching my boys gobble them up as quickly as they did, I laughed because I feared that they wouldn’t come out that great. Take that fear, these pumpkin muffins are definitely a winner!